life love

Love Story

Thursday, December 04, 2014Unknown

"Every love story is beautiful but ours is my favorite."

It all started in 4th grade. I was 11 and Tou Ae was 13. Obviously we were both very young and had no idea about what "love" even is, but when I met him, I had a feeling that was indescribable. I knew he was different.

A year later, I told him about my feelings. His response was that he just wanted to be friends, so that's exactly what we became. Friends.

Long story short, we lost contact for a couple of years after elementary, was reunited during high school and became very close friends. He was always there for me, and we could talk for hours and hours about life, relationships, and pretty much anything. The only subject we did not ever mention was "us."

We graduated high school and said our goodbyes, not knowing what college was going to do to us.

September rolled around and our first year of college started at the University of Wisconsin-Madison. He was my best friend, my home away from home and he always made sure I was safe. At first, I thought it was just a friendly gesture... until one night. He was walking me to my bus stop, and I mentioned to him that I had met someone who I might want to make things work with. I was so excited to share the news with him, because that's what friends do...but his response was not as exciting. He was quiet the whole time I was talking, and when I was done, he walked across the street and left me by the side of the road alone. That's when I realized that the tables have turned. All I could do was cry. I didn't know what to think of it, but I knew that things were going to change drastically for us.

A couple of weeks passed and neither of us ever spoke a word about what happened that night. I was so frustrated because he couldn't sincerely tell me how he felt. I just wanted him to be honest with me about his feelings like I was to him years ago. The truth is, I never got over Tou Ae. My feelings for him were always there. But it just wasn't enough for me to put my life on hold for him. I dated others, met lots of new people and was happy with who I am and where I was in life. I was okay with being just his friend.

Then during our freshman Thanksgivings potluck, he finally confessed. Let me tell you, it was the most awkward confession, the most awkward hug, and the most awkward situation I've ever been stuck in. We weren't sure what our relationship had in store for us, but we were willing to give it a chance. The time that we spent together was great and Tou Ae was so much fun to be around, but the transition of becoming lovers was very scary for me. I wasn't well prepared. And because of that, I decided to end the relationship a couple of weeks after we got together.

It was very complicated after our split because let me tell you, the most confused anyone will ever get is when you try to convince your mind of something your heart knows is a lie. I wanted to be with him. I just didn't know how to get pass the awkwardness. I have no regrets though, for doing what I did. Tou A and I learned so much about ourselves and what we really wanted. It gave us time to reflect and come back together stronger than ever.

I am so blessed to have someone who loves me unconditionally. Our relationship is definitely not perfect, however, we were able to build a foundation that really worked for us, and hope that it will continue to.

When I think about our journey and where we are at now, it's so surreal. But like I said earlier, I knew there was something different about him. I didn't know then, but I do now. And it's because he was someday going to be the most important person in my life. He, is the one.

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  1. Awww. this was soooo sweet! What a journey

    1. Thank you Cua! It's been a crazy ride for sure. Haha.